We fine tune who we are by filtering out what we are not....

Hi! Ha!

It's been almost a year since my last post, and so many life changes, adventures, races, new friends, old friends, highs and lows....I kept wanting to post an update, but it just seemed overwhelming at times.

Now I feel there's been such a delay that it can be easily summarized...

You may or may not know, I moved to Mexico City for a few months last year (what I thought would be at least a couple years- figuring if I really couldn't stand the city at least I'd land a solid, decent paying, job that could grant me "experience" and eventually justify a work visa back to the US).

I spent 3 months on countless interviews- some for really exciting opportunities, others not so much. Regardless, the salaries and hours were akin to selling my soul. No thanks. Add in the traffic, the pollution, and just the every day hurdles of a city like that and I realized day by day that the simple, and at times too-peaceful, life in Cabo was beginning to resemble UTOPIA.

Eventually, I did get an offer and was one day away from signing the dotted line- but felt like I was betraying my entire self in doing so.

In addition to a personal issue, the decision to honor what I value in life and of myself, had me packing my bags quicker than when we got hit by Hurricane Odile lol, and back to Baja I went :)

Despite the harsh realities on the career front, I had an AMAZINGGGG time racing and traveling all over mainland Mexico and truly did come to appreciate the many things Mexico City has to offer. It will always be a place I enjoy returning to for brief periods at a time.

It was an experience that I had to live, and do not regret for even a second. That city had taunted me for many years, and I feel it was inevitable that one day I'd try it out.

Most of the traveling last year was (surprise!) to triathlons, and that was another silver lining- getting to check off all the races that when living in Cabo are just too far to go to all in one season!

Throughout all that Olympic/draft legal racing, my back pain started to subside, and my stubborn AF little voice inside started to wonder ... "can I make a comeback?...."

Naturally, the second I landed back in Cabo, equipped with some altitude training and "race weight" by default haha, I wasted no time in laying out my goals for 2017.

It helped that I had already singed up for our inaugural Los Cabos Marathon, which took place end of January. To add to the fun, a few killer athletes had recently moved to Cabo and so the perfect training bubble was in place!

The marathon went well- it was a super gnarly course, all along the hotel corridor, with relentless climbs and downhills that just crushed the quads. But the trail running prep for the marathon plus the race itself, formed an excellent base for the year.

I kicked off the season at the La Paz Olympic- which is one of the best, most beautiful, races out there. I placed first in the AG, and 2nd OA behind by new training partner, and stud, Cibelle.

After that the focus was on Ironman Texas to qualify for Kona. It was a race I'd mulled over registering for or not all winter, but went for it just shy of 2 months out, because it seemed far enough to get in good form, but close enough that I had no time to lose motivation, or get overtrained for.

I did manage a mountain bike injury and a nasty head cold (of course!). Nonetheless, come April 22, the hunger to race was at its peak, and I was thrilled with the result. It landed me one spot and a few minutes short of the 3rd Hawaii slot for the 30-34, but to pull off a 10:15 feeling solid was enough to keep me pushing forward. Either way 70.3 Worlds was still on tap.

In less than 48 hours I signed up for Boulder, and that brings us to today!

There are no expectations for Boulder other than to bust my A** for that Kona slot. The body feels good, the inner demons are being quiet, and so it really boils down to controlling what's in my hands, and accepting what's not.

Ironman is an incredible metaphor for life- all you can do is show up, give your best effort, and let the chips fall where they may.

----0-----

See ya'll June 11, in CO. Thank you to my family, friends, supporters from all over that I have never even met, but ya'll reach out (it means so much!), my new coach, and some very exciting new sponsors!!!

ANYTHING Really is Possible

Up to now, that Ironman slogan hadn't meant much to me other than a motivating marketing quote from a company who's races I participated in. From my first Ironman in 2007, it had been something that was easily possible because all it took was logging in the long miles and staying headstrong- so that even with a massive breakdown in pace on the marathon, I could stagger to the finish line.

That possibility was *completely* taken away in 2012 when I DNF'ed Ironman Louisville after getting off the bike with over 60 miles of locking back pain and gathering my thoughts and strength in the porta potty of T2 barely able to stand, and seeing if I had the courage to open that door and take on the run course.

Save dignity, I made it past the first couple miles of crowds cheering "you can do it!"- and I furiously thought, "no, I can't! This isn't about discomfort or a mental bonk- this is disastrous- one more step and my back will break,  type of pain!".

Soon I found a little building with a stair hallway I could hide in, cry myself a pity party, and then walk to turn in my chip.

3 years later, I still didn't think I'd see an Ironman finish EVER again. But my new life in Cabo was finally taking form after a few emotionally difficult years dealing with separating myself from triathlon, moving to an essentially new country despite my citizenship to it, and leaving behind family and friends to venture out entirely alone.

I'd found my purpose with people as passionate for sport as I, and was setting out on making my life work tie in directly with what I love to do most- be active, healthy, and help out the greater community thorough this lifestyle.

With this excitement, triathlon entered again in a new light: as a way to stand for the athletic movement in Cabo, be an example to the local kids, and travel and seek out new adventures and experiences.

Little by little more things seemed possible.

As driven as I was for Ironman Cozumel, there was an undeniable amount of nervousness of can I really even finish?! I told my coach that I didn't really grasp what I had achieved in my younger years in Ironman until now- that youthful fearlessness was such a weapon!

It comes down to this- remove fear from your mind and you can do absolutely anything.

Coach P eased my mind the night before saying this was just a long day- a picnic for the steady and strong. Just be a machine, and don't overthink it. This was my comfort zone and I just needed to trust that my body knew exactly what to do.

It sure did.

The race unfolded as follows...

Thursday morning, I woke up after a series of naps resulting from food poisoning (which tends to plague me before a big race), and continued hugging the toilet until I literally would miss my flight if I stalled any longer. I debated dragging the luggage into my car and going at all- when you feel deathly ill even something that important to you and which you've worked so hard for, seems meaningless at the time.

I'm glad I summoned up the energy to get my butt in the car, as I'd regret if massively if I'd chosen to stay and victimize myself.

Pedialtye, bagels, potato chips, gatorade, juices, and mineral tablets galore later, things were looking up.

Once in Cozumel my aunt picked me up and took me to the best Thanksgiving dinner I've enjoyed in many years. Some American family had their grandmother in town and she followed recipes passed down from generations and it really was grandma's cooking that gave me back my strength.

Friday morning I got the packet, did a short ride, run, and swim to wake the system up and then rested until race morning as best I could.

Sunday came and I felt awesome. The swim start was rolling and I'd never experienced that in an Ironman before. Everything would have gone great with that method had they not chosen what seemed like a theatre prop for the ramp into the water.

With eager athletes that thing shook like it was undergoing an earthquake and as we quickly jumped into the water "one by one", too many of us unfortunately discovered the water was about 2-3ft deep and I started my Ironman day with two scraped knees and a jammed foot I was hoping would come back to life halfway through the swim.

The swim was uneventful- warm clear water typical of Cozumel, and a pace that at times seemed a bit too peaceful. My only regret was not jamming my way to the very very very front of that first corral and holding onto the front group of swimmers. I needed to exit the water with the girl that went on to win our age group.

Onto the bike- BEST RACE RIDE OF MY LIFE. Since a couple long rides in July and two more in September in TX I had not ridden over 4hrs. But the consistency of the year paid dividends!!

I felt I rode 80 miles. I didn't light a single match the whole bike ride and considering the winds this year were way tougher than previous times I've raced Cozumel, I rode better than I could've ever expected.

The run started out great- my legs felt good. But the back was stiff as nails the first 5k. I had way too many internal pleads to stop running and call it. But I just told myself to keep at it until it literally stops you in your tracks.

The run had its ups and downs. Loop 2 of three I felt the best but started cramping right before the third lap began. I upped the salt and came to- until mile 19. At that exact moment the lack of long runs slapped me in the face. It was a survival to the finish line.

This finish cost me much more those last miles physically, than any other Ironman I've done. But the elation from realizing I was about to actually finish an Ironman when a couple months ago I still swore it would never happen was too much and I broke down in tears the last km.

I gave everything I had, and have no regrets. I trained what my mind, body, and life approach allowed and desired each day this year, and thus it was never daunting- it was one of the best years in sport, and a year that taught me so much not just as an athlete but as a person.

Third in 25-29 and 5th female amateur, 18th overall in 10:26. Not shabby.

But if you know me- there's always the desire for more. I missed the Kona slot, and I want Kona.

So Vineman 2016 it is. And the goal is to win Worlds a third time.

2016- I'm a triathlete again and I'm placing no limits.

2015 In a Nutshell

It seems silly at this point with instagram, Facebook, twitter, snapchat, and whatever other social media tools we use, to write paragraphs on what those snip bits covered on an almost daily basis.

But, at the port-a-potty line of 70.3 Cabo last Sunday, a woman I'd never met came up and introduced herself asking if I was Tatiana as she loves to read my blog and is very happy I'm back racing and involved in the sport. WOW! That made me blush and it was so cool to have that kind of reach and appreciation from people you may run into once in your life or maybe not at all.

Triathlon, and sport in general, connects us like that- and it's special. We can all inspire and motivate people when we don't even realize it.

Deep talk aside, I'd like to note for years ahead when I read back at 2015, that I am incredibly thankful for what life has given me these past months!

After accepting the Austria Worlds 70.3 slot at Galveston, I enjoyed an amazing two weeks in Spain that were a welcome change to every other kind of vacation/travel I'd ever been on. I met some wonderful people and experienced things that I thought only exist in movies.

After that escapade, I was back in Cabo hosting our SMASH/DIMOND camp. It went really well, and only cut short due to a tease from Hurricane Blanca, that luckily just caused some rain and power outages...but led to me fleeing Cabo early for the summer.

Back in Texas, I jumped into Lubbock 70.3 to get my butt into gear for Austria training and then followed my good friend and teammate, Dawn Elder ("Kona Dawn"), to a month long training camp in Tucson.

I LOVE TUCSON! We had a ball- and the camp resulted in another fabulous friendship with Lauren Palmer, who I'm sure I'll battle out the 25-29 in Kona next year if the cards line up for us;)! Some other HPB/Smash athletes joined us for some random training days, and I left for Europe feeling fit and in love with triathlon all over again.

Europe can't even be summed up here. Austria is the most beautiful country on Earth. The training at Hotel Mohrenwirt was absolutely perfect. I've never been to or seen such picturesque and ideal training grounds for triathlon, and road or mountain biking.

After 3 weeks alone in Fuschl Am See, my brother and mom joined and we headed to Zell Am See for Worlds.

The race went as best as it could've. I swam and biked my heart out, and may or may not have paid for it on the run but that was the plan- just GO FOR IT. Im happy to see cycling finally clicking- just need to run like I used to with that new bike rhythm.

After Europe I touched down in Texas and raced TriRock Austin which is always a blast! Then it was off to Chicago for Short Course Worlds. Chicago itself I'm enamored with. What a cool city! I hope to return to enjoy it as a pure tourist soon. I had some issues in that race- just felt flat on the run, and a fiasco in T1 with running in bike shoes through literally wet mud puddles resulting in minutes trying to clip into my speedplay pedals.

To end the year, I had the intention of racing Ironman Cabo and again joined Dawn for her final long Kona workouts in Texas.

However, when I returned to Cabo at the start of October I realized Ironman felt daunting. The heat those first two weeks was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Also, and in hindsight it's even clearer, I was unplugged after that whole summer of training, racing, and traveling. So I opted for the 70.3

That half was important to me as I have a lot of people that look up to me here in Cabo, and I needed to perform to give back in effort what this place and the community means to me.

I probably rolled over the last staple-thing before the turn to the manicured airport toll road at around mile 30 of the bike. I was leading the age group race by 10+ minutes and after standing around for a miracle pit stop from a mechanic or anyone that would loan me a spare wheel, I called it and went on to cheer for my brother, Daniel. He ended up winning overall amateur in his first 70.3!

There's no excuse for not carrying a spare but I'll give my reasons- I have no race wheels here. Daniel even forgot my front and I scrambled to find us another wheel from local friends that weren't racing 1 day before bike check in. He even had to use a front clencher and rear tubular.

The disc I flatted I just bought from a friend a few weeks ago and it had a bike shop glued tire that after the race took me 30+ minutes to peel off. I had no pit stop here...and in the end YES I did say "last race, all or nothing, here goes!".


Bitter sweet weekend as a lot of friends, new and old, were in town racing and we hit up some of my favorite spots. Superstar Mel McQuaid decided to stay a couple more days with me and we went with some other triathlete friends to swim with the Whale Sharks!

.......

What that flat caused though, is a fire inside me that I haven't felt since I last raced Hawaii! It made me so angry that I couldn't put all that hard work to use and showcase it in front of my hometown. Naturally, I looked for what race I could do this year- but not just any, one that could have an end purpose and a lot at stake.

Enter IRONMAN COZUMEL. My last Ironman in 2011, my first race as a Pro, and in my country. BAM! Unfinished business is an understatement.

This last week ramping up the mileage and planning the training showed me that I needed that recovery/taper week leading into Cabo 70.3, that I was EXHAUSTED beyond measure and I couldn't even sense it myself!

Right now I am a mix of awesome emotions- I'm pissed, motivated, ecstatic, hungry, ambitious....I want to go to Cozumel and absolutely race my heart and body out. I want to cross that finish line with nothing left- nothing but a deep exhalation of what an amazing year Ive had and how fortunate I am to be surrounded by wonderful family, friends, and supporters.

Training and racing aside, things in the sport development realm in Cabo are going fabulous! We have a new government in place and investors/local business keen on attracting sports tourism and brining in the infrastructure needed to make Los Cabos an athlete's paradise. I won't share more until things are clearly defined, and honestly because there's too much to share I could probably write a book!;)

Keep an eye out.

Cheers.

One month to go!!! Racing for the Children's Tumor Foundation

I am Incredibly grateful to my friends that have already donated to this great cause which I hope to race not just the Hawaii 70.3 for, but many more events!! 

It will be an honor to line up on that start line knowing that the journey was more than time spent in a pool, a trail, or cycling highways. It was about being thankful each and every day for health and the OPPORTUNITY to be able to do each of those things. Children born with neurofibromatosis battle obstacles much greater than most of us could ever imagine. 

From all the reading I've done regarding neurofibromatosis, it is wonderful to be able to play a part, however small, in funding the research and education/counseling for families affected by this genetic disorder- especially with my recent involvement with all the kids in Cabo, and our own TriCaboKidz foundation. 30 days left for us to reach the goal together!! Thank you!!

CLICK HERE to help!!

Hawaii 70.3- Children's Tumor Foundation!

We're fools if we do things the same way expecting different results, right?

Well, the last time I raced Hawaii 70.3 was in 2012- the birth of the low back "injury" that has haunted me since. I kept racing that whole season, and tried again to swim/bike/run in 2013 until calling it quits at Galveston 70.3....

Fast forward to now- I'm attempting a return to triathlon but this time with a different perspective and cause.

For one, I've come to terms with the low back situation and see it as a "dare" to manage it through a whole season by successfully getting to the finish line at each event without having to sacrifice performance.

Secondly, being on the SMASH/DIMOND women's team has renewed my sense of purpose and reach, in terms of being able to inspire others, by belonging to something bigger than myself. I feel accountable to these women and what we stand for, as well as all the people and companies supporting the team.

Finally, as part of TriCabo and TriCaboKidz, I want to be a role model for the triathlon school of Cabo and to walk the talk of sport development in Baja Sur.

I guess on top of all of this, is also the weird sense that if keys from the Universe keep showing up at my fingertips to hold steady on the triathlon road, it must mean I shouldn't give up! Not a believer in coincidence, I think when obstacles are thrown at us, and walls block us even from what we (*think*) want most in life, we have to take it with a grain of salt and accept that we are meant to be on a different journey.

For some odd reason, the triathlon train still reserves my seat! So I've decided to hop on board again.

I don't have a clue how I'll fare this weekend at the La Paz Olympic, or Galveston 70.3 in April, and I've now committed to raising money for Hawaii 70.3 May 30th...but I do know that I'm in shape, healthy, and ready to leave the back pain and results to fate. The daily process of and interaction with other athletes in this crazy sport is what makes me happy.

That said, I know that if I am to race on the Big Island again, it has to be for something other than myself, so when a friend mentioned Hawaii 70.3 and I curiously looked at the site the "entry for charity" stood right out.

The sense of training and racing for kids in need is far more motivating and fulfilling than for any podium spot or qualifying time.

The Children's Tumor Foundation asks for a minimum of $3000 dls by May 1st for the charity entry and it would mean a lot to me to have your support.

Please share, and follow the link if you want to help me in this cause:)!

The rest of the Kona trip & Seattle

It was my true intention to blog every day while I was in Hawaii but after the very first blog post on, technically, day zero, it simply wasn't going to happen.

When I'd finally sit down on the computer, it was with mediocre wifi, so more often than not I'd resort to my smart phone.

The trip as a whole was fantastic! I set out to try and connect with as many people as possible in hopes of finding a job in this industry that could keep me in the US or somewhere cool abroad, and I left with numerous promising leads.

It was fabulous to see new and old faces, and spend some time helping out at the expo and for the first time, getting involved in the keiki (kid's) race before Ironman.

The Saturday right after I arrived I found out there was an organized race of the full swim course and jumped in last minute with a friend which was amazing because it felt like I was racing again but then emerged to find fruit and bagels waiting at the King Kam beach restaurant.

Every day I'd run and/or swim, mostly solo but got in a solid 11 miler with Hillary (www.smashfestqueen.com) all along Alii, and another short one with Beth before finally leaving the Island- got to meet little Wynne too :) The swim highlights were: obviously the "race", finding the Smash girls mid-sea and joining them for the remainder, and the last dip from the Pier getting to swim out to the 1.2 bouey with Chrissie Wellington, and the Grangers.

For the majority of the trip I shared a condo with Holly, SOAS' Steph, and her sister Andrea- it was awesome spending time with these great women! The night before last, Jen Barber let me crash with her before slumming it back down to Uncle Billy's "hotel" and we had a great dinner and a failed attempt to find late night local Big Island ice cream despite miles of walking in effort.

 (Jen, Me, Jordan Blanco at the Aloha Party)

(Our yummy dinner with an awesome view at Daylight Mind)

I also had two long lunches with some of the Mexican athletes and it was cool to hear of their journey to Kona and how/where they train back home.

The rest of the sun and fun is all in pics....

some amazing salads: Ultimate Burger (in a bowl), Lava Java Greek chicken, & Huggo's seared ahi :P

Sinfully hydrating Nuun cocktails at the Triathlete house party

 One of the first swims in my new Betty suit (www.bettydesigns.com)

Rad view from our stay at the Royal Kona the night after the race!

Finally stole a pic with this legend!

cheering along the run course!!

Race Day!

Sebastian the King of 2014

What a performance by Ben Hoffman!!

Fun times at the ClifBar party

Day after the after-party on a couple hours sleep with Tawnee for a "swim"

Shiono Sushi- top notch!!

The best for last: Rinny in absolute Beast Mode about to cross the mat for her 3rd Kona title!

From Hawaii, I was set to travel back a whole 17.5 hours to Texas with stops in Seattle and Dallas. The Ebola scare in Dallas coupled with the agony of being sleep deprived in airports felt enough to warrant getting off in Seattle and stay with my good friend Sam a few days. I'd only passed through Seattle in 2007 en route to Portland for Nationals, so never explored any of it.

Aside from the gloomy weather, the people, abundant culture, fantastic food, and general love/support for outdoor activities made me think I could totally live there! We enjoyed walks to some amazing coffee, cocktails at the chic Edge Water Hotel, a swim in Mercer Island, and a fabulous dinner at Anthony's Home Port in Kirkland.

Icing on the cake was getting to play original Nintendo and meeting Sam's horrendously cute rescue dog, Mimi.