In the end, you are in charge of what you do or do not achieve. I am at a point now, 5 years since my first race, that I feel I've heard it all and read it all. We are saturated with knowledge. It is powerful but it can also be destructive.
I am my own worst enemy, primarily because I am never satisfied with my achievements- in sport, be that workouts or great races. I have a winner's high and then it's like my full glass is emptied and needs to be refilled; but this time it's a bigger glass. More more more, bigger, better, stronger, faster.
I've been told I need balance. Eh it's worked, I've normalized myself a lot more these last two years since I moved out here. Slowly, but surely. Now I've made friends, I've found a relative routine and played around with it here and there by going out some nights etc, and discovered that I still function the next day and everything will be ok.
However, I can only play at moderation for so long. I'm not good at it. I don't like it. It feels too balanced. I just don't like middle grounds. Extremities are for extremists, and I like the thrill of pushing the limits.
One of the reasons I don't like downtime is because I begin to conform. I'd rather see rest added into a gnarly block of training than something labeled a "rest period". I like wine, I notice that I have a few glasses at a party one night and I swim great the next day....next thing it's my new sleeping pill and I have an ongoing headache for a week- uhhhm hello, it could be that I'm fastracking my way to AA.....you see no good to tell me something is good for me. If so, it better not start having diminishing returns.
I digress. The point of this post is to face up to my current weakness: blocking out random noise. The facebook/twitter updates of "epic" training days, the opinions on overtaining, undertraining, intensity, lack thereof, eating right, eating TOO right, lack of sleep, too much sleep. While it's true that this can be avoided anywhere, I also want to disappear for a bit from the triathlon bubble that ironically I wanted so badly to be a part of when I packed my bags and moved out here in 2009.
Someone close to me said "you're running away".....my response is "yes". I'm running home to get my head straight. To be with my family, to be physically present at Brundage Mgt., and for 2 months stay away from all social media, and aside from some weekends in Austin, be distanced from anyone remotely devoted to triathlon.
I want to train as if I were invisible.
This is as close to a isolated camp as I can get with the comfort and support of those closest to me. I've said it over and over and I'll say it once more (if anything for my own motivation), this is my very last attempt to go Pro, at least for now. True I can go at it again a few years from now, but if this year it doesn't pan out I'm taking a break from this level of committment for a while to focus on furthering the growth of other areas of my life.
So I'm signing off until Hawaii 70.3. I have a big week ahead and leaving for Texas on Thursday. I'll probably post a Galveston race report. Other than that, it's time go to work and hold myself accountable for whatever the outcome may be.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Blog Blurrr
This is a short little update on what I'm up to. I've had a lack of desire to blog frankly because nothing interesting is going on so there's not much to say. I train, I eat, I sleep. Woohooo!
Training has been good. I have some little bike issues that yield niggles here and there on IT bands, hamstrings, peroneal tendons etc etc...really very frustrating. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this issue that's been driving me crazy for the past couple of years. Through the help of Rob at Elite Care Chiro, John Howard, and my own intuition I believe I'm on the right path to getting this fixed once and for all.
Other than that, all is good. I'm not injured, just desperately trying to prevent "niggles" from transforming into actual injuries that bench me.
In two weeks I get to see my studly friends kick some arse at Oceanside 70.3...if I'd won the coin toss, I'd elect to go second, thereby I'm glad they go kick off and I follow the weekend after at Galveston's 70.3
Helps to see where the line is being drawn ;)
After Galveston I've decided to remain in Texas until departing for Hawaii at the end of May.
Why? I woke up 2 days ago with the feeling that I needed to be home. When a strong gut feeling hits me, I don't think twice. Usually when I debate things in my head, and/or seek advice it's because that instinct/deep-seated knowledge (or intuition) isn't speaking loud enough if at all. I've always been very close to my family and a homebody so despite the fact that I call Encinitas my home- the greatest percentage of my heart attaches to where my family is.
Also, it's already in the 80s mid day there, by late April it'll be in the 90s. Moreoever, I found some great bike rallies of 80-100miles pretty much every wknd before Honu, and on the few that don't have organized rides in SA or Austin, I'll be heading to Austin to swim at the Quarry, join UT masters, and get in some longer rides with friends I haven't seen in a long while.
Lastly, I will probably race Cap Tex Tri- one of my favorite Olympic distance races, or of any distance actually. Daniel is also going to race the Oly so it'll be just like waaay back in 2007/2008 :)
Some random fun stuff:
1) on March 29 I will be rocking out at the Lady Gaga concert downtown with Katya and an old friend from high school, Kailtyn- Ra, ra, Ra, ra, RA!!!
2) I finished Stieg's trilogy- Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire, Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest...and OMG amazing!! I went through them as if I were on speed- so thrilling! I love anything that has fraud, consipracy, murder, social/psycho analysis, etc so this was right up my alley.........now I'm onto Inside Wiki Leaks which is also really good I think I'll be done in just two days, ha. I had gone into B&N to get The Social Animal by David Brooks but they were out of stock so picked this one up and no regrets.
Cool, that's it.
Peace
Training has been good. I have some little bike issues that yield niggles here and there on IT bands, hamstrings, peroneal tendons etc etc...really very frustrating. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this issue that's been driving me crazy for the past couple of years. Through the help of Rob at Elite Care Chiro, John Howard, and my own intuition I believe I'm on the right path to getting this fixed once and for all.
Other than that, all is good. I'm not injured, just desperately trying to prevent "niggles" from transforming into actual injuries that bench me.
In two weeks I get to see my studly friends kick some arse at Oceanside 70.3...if I'd won the coin toss, I'd elect to go second, thereby I'm glad they go kick off and I follow the weekend after at Galveston's 70.3
Helps to see where the line is being drawn ;)
After Galveston I've decided to remain in Texas until departing for Hawaii at the end of May.
Why? I woke up 2 days ago with the feeling that I needed to be home. When a strong gut feeling hits me, I don't think twice. Usually when I debate things in my head, and/or seek advice it's because that instinct/deep-seated knowledge (or intuition) isn't speaking loud enough if at all. I've always been very close to my family and a homebody so despite the fact that I call Encinitas my home- the greatest percentage of my heart attaches to where my family is.
Also, it's already in the 80s mid day there, by late April it'll be in the 90s. Moreoever, I found some great bike rallies of 80-100miles pretty much every wknd before Honu, and on the few that don't have organized rides in SA or Austin, I'll be heading to Austin to swim at the Quarry, join UT masters, and get in some longer rides with friends I haven't seen in a long while.
Lastly, I will probably race Cap Tex Tri- one of my favorite Olympic distance races, or of any distance actually. Daniel is also going to race the Oly so it'll be just like waaay back in 2007/2008 :)
Some random fun stuff:
1) on March 29 I will be rocking out at the Lady Gaga concert downtown with Katya and an old friend from high school, Kailtyn- Ra, ra, Ra, ra, RA!!!
2) I finished Stieg's trilogy- Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire, Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest...and OMG amazing!! I went through them as if I were on speed- so thrilling! I love anything that has fraud, consipracy, murder, social/psycho analysis, etc so this was right up my alley.........now I'm onto Inside Wiki Leaks which is also really good I think I'll be done in just two days, ha. I had gone into B&N to get The Social Animal by David Brooks but they were out of stock so picked this one up and no regrets.
Cool, that's it.
Peace
Monday, March 7, 2011
Desert Tri
I felt the need to cover up that Vegas post with something triathlon related. I swear, I really do train & race ;)
This weekend was the Desert Olympic out in Palm Springs- it was my first triathlon of the season and I'm always very glad I do these local races before jumping into 70.3s, where I thoroughly expect to be in top form.
The race went a lot better for me than I anticipated- not in terms of times or placement, but in "feel". Since starting up training in January my run has felt sluggish and off. But in the Palm Springs Half Marathon, despite tired legs, I felt that little bit of lightness and spark and it gave me hope. Finally in the last couple of training runs I've had that spring in my step that makes you feel like a runner and usually results in the runner's high of wanting to go on forever.
Anyway back to yesterday's race...
The swim was a s*itshow for the first 5-10min and it's my fault for not remembering what I promised myself after my good swim in Cozumel: line up as the FIRST swimmer. Our wave was elite M&F and M25&U, and I had a couple of people in front of me when they said "go", so when I dove into the little lake I didnt go out far enough and basically stayed in place getting jumped on for what seemed like forever while the group of faster swimmers that I planned to be with- & honestly should be with after what I'm consistently producing in the pool- was off and away :(
So I got a bit beat up, at one point my goggles loaded with water thanks to a kind elbow, but once we turned that first bouey I found some good feet and got into a nice rythm back to shore.
From there all else was good- nothing to complain about. The bike is pancake flat and I just rode as hard as I could. It took me about 30min to get rid of stiff legs and get rolling, and found my way into transition chomping at the bit to put on my Newtons!
The run was the best part of the day :)! I came out in 2nd and held that for about a mile. Meanwhile, Erin S tucked behind me until a spectator said "good job ladies" and blew her cover (the whole time I heard breathing right behind me, I was like "please be a dude") haha...and that's when she passed me. I couldn't hang and she got me by about 40sec. So it was 3rd for me, and I'm psyched about probably one of my best runs in an Oly since I can remember. I'll take it so early in the year :)!
That's it. More training and 5 wks left for Galveston 70.3!!!
This weekend was the Desert Olympic out in Palm Springs- it was my first triathlon of the season and I'm always very glad I do these local races before jumping into 70.3s, where I thoroughly expect to be in top form.
The race went a lot better for me than I anticipated- not in terms of times or placement, but in "feel". Since starting up training in January my run has felt sluggish and off. But in the Palm Springs Half Marathon, despite tired legs, I felt that little bit of lightness and spark and it gave me hope. Finally in the last couple of training runs I've had that spring in my step that makes you feel like a runner and usually results in the runner's high of wanting to go on forever.
Anyway back to yesterday's race...
The swim was a s*itshow for the first 5-10min and it's my fault for not remembering what I promised myself after my good swim in Cozumel: line up as the FIRST swimmer. Our wave was elite M&F and M25&U, and I had a couple of people in front of me when they said "go", so when I dove into the little lake I didnt go out far enough and basically stayed in place getting jumped on for what seemed like forever while the group of faster swimmers that I planned to be with- & honestly should be with after what I'm consistently producing in the pool- was off and away :(
So I got a bit beat up, at one point my goggles loaded with water thanks to a kind elbow, but once we turned that first bouey I found some good feet and got into a nice rythm back to shore.
From there all else was good- nothing to complain about. The bike is pancake flat and I just rode as hard as I could. It took me about 30min to get rid of stiff legs and get rolling, and found my way into transition chomping at the bit to put on my Newtons!
The run was the best part of the day :)! I came out in 2nd and held that for about a mile. Meanwhile, Erin S tucked behind me until a spectator said "good job ladies" and blew her cover (the whole time I heard breathing right behind me, I was like "please be a dude") haha...and that's when she passed me. I couldn't hang and she got me by about 40sec. So it was 3rd for me, and I'm psyched about probably one of my best runs in an Oly since I can remember. I'll take it so early in the year :)!
That's it. More training and 5 wks left for Galveston 70.3!!!
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