If a psychologist were to evaluate my behavior and comments the night after IM and part of the next day compared to all the moments after that, he would diagnose me as bipolar.
I went from "This is retarted, I hate Ironman, what a waste of 9mths of my life, I am pathetic" to "How soon can I be on another start line and prove to myself what I know I'm capable of? I'm not going anywhere without ticking off plenty of IM wins, getting that Pro card, and being a contender at the Elite level".
Part of this shift in consciousness came from the fabulous email reply from my attorney saying 2nd is fenomenal, there's a high possibility in getting my P1 visa. Given that with that visa granted I cannot work here, just live and train, I sat down and had a chat with my mom. I explained that as great as it sounds to live a whole yr doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and training, after a couple of months it really did start getting old. I'm bored easily and I don't do well with spare time. Hence my desire to take as many hours as possible each semester in college. As well, I feel pathetic that at 21 I can't even buy my mom dinner with my own money.
So, I offered to help my mom in all of her marketing and whatever else she needs for her real estate business, as well as help my stepdad for as many hours as he wants in his company.
With that scenario, I would have to move back to San Antonio. It does break my heart considering how hard I fought to move to Encinitas and how absolutely perfect the training is there. But I'm actually very much a homebody and really miss my family. Plus, San Antonio is not as bad as Dallas in the winter and the summer is spectacular for Kona training.
So that's where I'm at right now- getting everything finalized to take my P1 petition to court and see what the judge decides. If I get to stay, you can bet on me getting my slot once again for the World Champs and toeing the line in Kona with a whole new perspective on training and racing- a smarter, tougher, and more rounded athlete ready to get it done.